Hey guys and girls today I wanted to talk to you about one of my favorite game franchises. Of course I am talking about Call of Duty. Once my friends and I were introduced to the multiplayer mayhem in COD 3 we were intrigued. But once we experienced COD 4: Modern Warfare we would be cemented into this ever expanding franchise. Year in and year out most of my friends and I are pigeon holed into paying the $60 for the latest and "greatest" COD title. One thing to keep in mind is that I am not claiming that COD is the best game, or even superior to other FPS Multiplayer shooters available, but it is the game that everyone of my friends plays and its what we are sticking with. Anyway the purpose of this post is not to give you a history lesson about COD, or a breakdown of every game released annually, rather I want to focus on you, the player, and what gameplay style you most probably fall under.
So check out my personal list composed from years of found and equally frustrating memories here are the most common player types I run into on a game by game basis. Leaver us comments and let us know what type of player you are!
1. The Noob - We were all at this level at one point or another. You know the guy, the one who picked the juggernaut perk from the early titles. This same noob will likely be attaching the grenade launcher, aptly name the "Noob Tube" and will probably die numerous times in a row before learning the game. This type of player doe's not bother me as much as most people, if I get shot with a noob tube once a game, I can deal with it, but when I see a player who clearly knows way too much about the game launching noob-tubes across the map to score points then I know I am dealing with another type of player, see the Asshole below.
2. The Camper - One of my personally most hated playing styles the camper is the reason why there are so many problems in this world. Okay let me explain my thinking before you say "Brian is just exaggerating". There are modes which call for a more defensive play style, defending an objective, covering a flag, etc. The camper I speak of is a special breed of bitch, he is that guy laying down in the grass while your team is losing 70-45 in TDM and refuses to move. The camper is the guy you sets himself up in a room with claymores, trophy systems, radars, etc. The bigger problem with the camper is that the companies who churn out COD give the camper no reason to stop camping, except maybe the game mode "Cranked". I understand that in real combat you will not be running around like a crazy person and that you need to play more tactically, well my response is this is a F**king Game! If you want to pay $60 to be Mr. Tactical pick up Battlefield. Now plenty of people claim they are not camping, Jim, but rather "holding down an area". This argument is BS because that is the very definition of camping, shit-birds.
3. The Try-Hard - This is a probably the stupidest moniker I have seen and it carries two meanings. Basically this is the player "trying" to play the game the best they can, okay why would'nt you try hard? Now the other meaning and the one that bugs me is the player who always chooses the same weapon every single COD title. This player usually always uses the AK-47 or some variation, he/she will always find the best gun in the game and never switch.One way to tell if you are a try hard check to see if you use Ghost or anything similar to ghost for more than 1/2 of your loadouts. Here is the other test to see if you yourself would be considered a try-hard. Go to your Black Ops account look at your weapon ratio and if your first place gun has been used 10x more then your second place gun than congratulations you are a try hard, now learn to use another weapon you ass-hat.
4. The Youtube Wannabe - Hahaha this asshole, he is the one trying to build himself a nice highlight video by only using the throwing knife/axe, jumps while doing a 360 hoping to pull off that no scope. Although this player is a complete idiot, I can live with that because 95% of the time he is a perfect target and provides plenty of deaths for me. So you keep trying to compile that awesome youtube video which will net you 150 views and I will keep on killing you.
5. The Spray and Pray -Hey look I have a light machine gun and when I turn corners I just hold down the trigger and the other guy dies 1/2 of the time. We have all had that moment of panick in which we fire from the hip and get that BS kill, I am fine with that. It is the shit-ball you continually uses this method of just blindly firing who is annoying, this guy will reveal your position, if he is on your team, or get far more kills than he actually deserves. Once again this is a Jim category and many a final kill cam Jim could not even feel satisfaction as we all watched some ugly spray and praying.
6. The Cheater/Booster/Piece of Shit -I hate campers, I think you all realize this, but this particular player can suck a rotten dirty dick. I am sure many of you have received messages that someone is holding a prestige boosting lobby, or enter into a game where two player opposite one another are laying down tactical inserts and continuously killing each other in an attempt to earn XP. As pathetic as boosting is, I get it, your a little bitch who sucks at the game so you need to make yourself feel better by finally earning XP, at least you are not affecting other players. The true piece of shit I am referring to is that awful human being who uses glitchs/cheats during a match. Lag Switching, Auto Aim, Going outside/under the map whatever the method they all result in the same effect, you have an unfair advantage over the other players. I cannot stress enough that you are a nothing more than a shit licking ass sniffing little bitch and I hope you get banned, then punched in the face by your father.
7. The Run and Gunner - This is definitely me. We run around the map firing on all cylinders hoping for that perfect flank and usually get gunned down in the process by one of those "lovely" campers. I admit that sometimes I can have amazing games while doing this, but I can have just as many bad games trying this, which lends itself to Rage Quitting.
8. The Asshole - This is a player that is hilarious to watch, but annoying as hell to play against. He uses a riot shield with C4, he runs with only a knife and throwing ax, or he quick scopes. This is the guy who knows the map spawns so well he will kill you 3 times in a row before you can even turn around. Although technically he does nothing wrong this player is walking the fine line of cheating by using the games faults to his pleasure. I have definitely been the jackass running around getting 10+ kills using only the tomahawk, which was awesome, but I have received my fair share of embarrassments as well.
9. The Rage Quitter - To all of my friends reading they know one of my most used and famous quotes, "If I die one more time from this little bitch I am going to leave". Rage quitting is an interesting moniker because you have two options, 1. Leave the game and move onto something else, 2. Stay in the game and let your rage fester over until you are slamming your remote or throwing your headset across the room. I prefer to leave the game, especially if I have terrible teammates, facing players who are cheating, or am 1 of 2 players playing an elite clan who has just called in their Chopper Gunner/Dogs and Harrier.
10. The Real Deal - This is the guy/girl who is just legitimately good, usually confused with a cheater, a bullshitter, lucky, etc, etc. This player has lighting fast reflexes, knows the maps inside and out and can probably tell you the firing rate of each gun. In other words this player probably has no life and looks like the picture below.
11. The Useless Teammate - The final player type I could think of is an odd one to nail down, and usually you will never refer to yourself in this manner. This player will be the useless piece of sperm that will watch you capture a flag in domination, not cover you, and then camp in the back while the enemies take there flags back. If you are not going to play the objective than pick a different mode.
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